enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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brunch with a flirty frenchman and philosophy from the mouths of babes

So I just stole this from my cousin's FB site:

"I think I'm fun, but I do sometimes take on too many other peoples' problems, and can get saddened by my friends' grief. I'm a recovered type A personality, and have learned to take things slowly. I'm seeing it's okay to not work out every day, make dinner from scratch each night, or stick to a budget when once in a lifetime opportunities arise. I'm also learning how to balance being my own person with my own aspirations and goals, and sharing my life with someone else. I have failed more times than I can count, but I learn from my experiences, sometimes maybe too much. I'm happy where I am and I'm happy where I'm going. My biggest asset is the people in my life, past and present who give me more than I could ever dream of giving back."

This cousin is the beautiful cousin - both inside and out - with whom I met up at university again a couple of years ago. I really look up to this cousin, even though she is many years younger. She recently married her perfect - and my perfect, theoretically speaking - guy, a professor of physics. She has a teaching diploma but I don't think she is going to teach full-time. She seems to be happy with this life.

Anyhow. SO as you can tell, I opened up my FB account again. My FB account is rather sad as very few of my friends are on it. I have a few friends and a few relatives and that is it! :)

Just kidding. It's all about quality over quantity. :)

I'm trying to learn to be more open minded about things, and like my cousin I think I need to slow down and tell myself that I don't need to be perfect.

C., in fact, last night, came out with a good one. He said, "You know, it's like finishing your PhD. ONe of the reasons that it went awry was really your perfectionism. You kept digging and pushing and it had to be perfect. Had you not gotten so mired and tired of it you might have been able to fight the supervisor better. As it was you gave up, because it you knew that your thesis would never meet your standard of perfection."

This statement hurt a fair bit - as in I don't want to open up new fields of regret - but there was a fair bit of truth to it.

So whether or not I will be able to change careers, I think I'm going to try at least a little bit to live like my cousin, and to ease up on my standards of perfection. They make me tired, anyhow. :)

Speaking of tired, I slept 10 hours last night. What a tough spinning workout yesterday!

And I have a 19k run scheduled with A. today.

I realize how completely screwed up that sounds, following a line about easing up on standards.:)

First, however, I must have brunch with R0l@nd. I promised that I would. So off I go to trudge down the stairs... :)

11:30 a.m. - 2008-02-03

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