enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Cross, I tell you!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH. I'm in a really bad mood.

At the poet scientist's birthday party on Saturday there was this girl who is a cyclist. I had remembered him mentioning her name before. I liked her.

But when I got home today I found an email from her that Yippee! she's going to join my Saturday cycling class.

And I know why. I had mentioned that I found one of the guys in my class rather cute. It has clicked in my head that the poet scientist is constantly hearing from this particular friend about how she can't find any men to date.

ARGH..

I'm not worried about the competition. It's just that I LIKE not knowing anyone at my class. It makes talking to this guy completely above suspicion and easy. If this girl comes there on Saturday you can bet your life that she's going to stick to me like glue, or if the ps's word means anything...to the guys like glue.

I konw that that is not a recipe for success with men, but neither is not being in a circumstance in which one can chat with someone easily and naturally.

I'm simply cursed!

Oh well. I'm not going to complain further.

It's my own fault.

I'm tired. I've been working hard. I find it boring, as usual.

I left work by 6 today but then I did something stupid. I was craving chips so I ate chips. Lots of chips. And now I feel sick. :) I should likely get on my bicycle.

Life is WEARYING, non? Sometimes it really irritates me.

And Dan is mad at me, too. I hadn't written to him for a few days and so today he emailed to ask why. I replied that I was a bit annoyed with him having told me last week that I'm "too analytical" for a guy to be interested in me. I told him that it really hurt my feelings, and that a wise woman told me that I'm just too analytical for a guy like him. I think that said wise woman is correct - I need to be true to myself, and it's definitely true that I've picked the wrong guys to this point. I'm not interested in Dan, anyhow, but I think that friends should be supportive and constructive rather than demoralizing in their commentaries. So then he reacted with an "I thought that that is what would happen," and that was that.

Seriously though, Dan and I are very different. Him not liking my style doesn't mean anything. I don't like his style much, either, particularly when it comes to women, even though I think he is a good person.

So there.

There you go.

I'm cross and cross and cross!

Actually, there's a chief at work whom I like very much. I think I like her because she seems to be like me. She's a very gentle and pleasant sort of woman, but at least at work she's not usually grinning from ear to ear. She strikes me as pensive, focused. And she is married and with a young son!

So there, Daniel. It takes all kinds.

8:18 p.m. - 2008-01-24

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