enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Dinner party and eating aversion.

This is going to be an incredibly boring entry!

I have very little motivation today.

Yesterday was lovely. I really did enjoy my spinning class. That class always makes me feel so physically *clean*. It makes me feel like an athlete again, which I think is a feeling that I miss sometimes. I liked the quiet, centred focus of it; the feeling of stable physical power that it guaranteed.

Anyhow. And of course the calm atmosphere with medium natural light and warm red walls and good music makes it that much better. Add in cutie-pie guys who are friendly with me and I'm in heaven.

Yesterday afternoon and evening I spent making lemon meringue pies. These pies in and of themselves are not difficult to make, but I above all people seem to be able to make a huge mess whenever anything like grating rind and squeezing juice is involved. I had rind everywhere. I had juice everywhere. As I was juggling slightly-beaten egg yolks with hot sugary, corn-starchy mixture and lemon juice I spilled both lemon juice and granulated sugar on the floor and nearly did a wipe out.

And if I haven't yet impressed you I'll tell you that when I was on my second batch of meringue (the first went awry, for some reason), there was actually meringue dripping into my washing machine.

Like I used to tell my mother though, I would always clean up afterwards so what does it matter how messy I was in the process? :)

In a perfect world I would have a lovely, handsome houseboy to go around cleaning up after me as I worked my way through a recipe. :)

Just kidding. I'm rather too independent for that.

The only other thing that I have to write about - and it is not pleasant, I am afraid -is that when not spinning I've been massively miserable in the gut department all weekend.

That cheese or whatever it was that I ate on Friday night seemed to throw me off remarkably and I have intense IBS symptoms. I quite despair of being able to deal with this. I'm wondering if I have some severe food allergies that I haven't dealt with. This should be investigated. When I was a kid I had food allergies for a number of years and I always refused to drink milk. (I still almost never drink it, and generally despise it.) I've always kind of had the inkling that we are intuitive about foods and tend not to like the ones that our bodies have some practical aversion to, so perhaps I am allergic to milk proteins.

The other option is that I am lactose intolerant. The fact that I've generally been able to eat cheese in my life may be related to the fact that hard cheeses are low in lactose relative to milk and so on. I hardly know.

Anyhow. Not to be unpleasantly personal and all. The point of mentioning all of this is that in addition to my general psychological aversion to going to the poet scientist's for his birthday this afternoon (and having to deal with his girlfriend's insecurities), I feel a physical aversion as well. I'm just not hungry or willing to eat. Not a good thing at a dinner party.

I really must take this eating bull by the horns, and soon. These episodes have been too regular of late.

So...

To make the evening tolerable I've at least decided to take my running gear so that I can run home after the party. That will save me taking the dreadful bus (which I loathe), and also give me a bit of fresh air and a metabolism-jiggle.

There you are. I'm quite boring today. A very cute guy wrote to me on the online dating site. He even seems quite normal. I'm thinking though that since the cycling guy has at least given me a glimmer of hope about meeting someone somewhere in my real life, I should just not bother with he online dating thing. It's a bit too artificial for me, I think.

Plus I'm really in no rush to get a boyfriend. It just doesn't matter anymore. Life is good. Except for the stomach thing. But I will resolve that latter one.

The other boring thing that I am trying to work out today - and this is REALLY boring, since I've been indecisive about it for several months - is what yarn to buy to make a sweater. I'm in need of a rugged sweater or cardigan to wear on weekends. I saw this picture this weekend and I absolutely LOVE this look, in spite of its utter bagginess.The alternative is a similar sweater in cardigan form. Exciting, I know. I also need to make something more delicate - in a soft mohair silk and a pale colour like green - and so probably I'll do this one. I know, I'm incredibly exciting! :)

1:12 p.m. - 2008-01-20

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fifidellabon
hungryghost
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