enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Mutt and J3ff

I have a feeling that this might be a rather crude entry. I hope you'll forgive me.

Today was weird. I'm not sure why. I was in a weird mood. I didn't much feel like working, although I was sharp and alert and cutting through ideas like grass with a weed whacker.

Really not sure where my head is at.

Last night we DID end up going to the pub. It seemed to help to loosen grumpy C up, so that is good. Sometimes when I go out with him I get the feeling that people are looking at me and thinking, "Gee, that poor, smiling woman. Her husband looks angry - almost violently so."

That's C. Sometimes he can get the most unbelievably cloudy expression on his face, and we've known each other for long enough that when he's in a bad mood I just let him grunt in response to my questions, even in public.

Last night, when we arrived at the pub, there was a two-table wait. It's a small, cramped, wooden, below-ground place, and so we were crushed near the doorway and an array of shelves containing all of the local arts papers. Quickly behind us arrived a woman with her ~20 year-old daughter and a gaggle of the daughter's friends. The woman seemed to be mightily disturbed that C. was grunting at me whilst I was smiling and commenting on the various concert posters up on the little wooden pillars, an article on the front cover of one of the arts magazines, the coat of a very interesting looking elderly woman who was getting up to leave from one of the tables.

Anyhow. C. and I are pretty much polar opposites in general outlook - I'm generally smiling and cheery and as often as not (and I wish I were kidding) skipping around; in public, at least, he's generally gruff and gloomy-looking. He'll point out everything that could go wrong, and then appear as though he is waiting for everything wrong in the way that one would sit crossly waiting for a bus on a rainy day. We have the opposite countenances, so it would seem! He's the sweetest guy in the world, however, so don't let me steer you wrongly. I've rarely met anyone so generous and helpful and reliable. (He still wants to buy my sofa for me.)

Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah. Last night worked wonders for him. AFter an hour or so he gradually loosened up. He even stayed for a little bit of music.

It also seemed to work for me, in that I felt the stress related to encroaching work slip away as I sat in the pub and enjoyed the music and the food. I should methinks have avoided the second Guinness, however. I should always restrict myself to Guinness rather than Guinni. :)

OH how i love the creamy substance, though. And the iron! The iron!

So on to men. I changed my online dating profile and I thought it made me sound fun yet not imbecilic. The men, however, they are not a-biting! What gives? Stupid bastards! They do not know what they are missing.

Hmmm. (grumbling)

Speaking of men, and by the way, here comes the crude...

Dan emailed me today. For some reason he and two other guys from my old workplace want me to join them on their guys' lunch tomorrow. In principle I would not object, but the invitation was rather...um...odd.

Dan: You HAVE to come tomorrow. I didn't get to see you this weekend and if you come I'll have two of my favourite things in the same place - you and smoked meat.

(They're going for smoked meat, a Montreal delicacy. I'll admit to not being so refined as to not enjoy the occasional greasy smoked meat sandwich, that sits in your stomach like a rock afterwards. But I digress.)

Anyhow. So since you don't know me you won't be shocked by this, but let me tell you that I DON'T generally speak this way. What came out of my mouth was this:

"I don't know if I like having *me* and *smoked meat* in the same sentence. But like I told you, given my interest in meeting the cute guy in my cycling class on the weekend, feel free to put *me* and *smoking meat* in the same sentence."

I really meant it quite innocently and innocuously. But the crude hilarity on Dan's part that ensued...

I'd rather not repeat! :)

I'm such a prude. Well, no.

I'm not sure what I am.

I think that that's it. I can't think of any more.

OK. I should go. I'm starving. I felt so guilty about not accomplishing much today that I stayed at work until 7:30 p.m. Idiot! It's late already, and soon I will have to go to bed...again.

Good article in the NYT today about teenagers being groggy in the morning (and not only because of late to bed). Well, because of late-to-bed, but apparently because that is optimal for teenagers. I've decided, therefore, that those of us who are night owls are simply those who never graduated from teenagerdom.

Do I like this? Not sure.

Hungry. Off I go.

Oh! I forgot to mention something. A guy started flirting with me at the pub last night. All the while I was thinking "I know this guy, somehow. Where from?" And then I realized: The bastard had emailed me on the online dating site, and then not replied when I sent him the rest of my pictures. I think that that is the HEIGHT of rudeness. You should at least write back to someone to say that they're not your type, or whatever. Anyhow. The guy was pretty cocky in his email, in any event, as he was last night. (A young assistant professor, very good looking, fit, hipster (piercings), musical..yadda, yadda.) I was nice but I blew him off. Felt good, I must say. I'm not even sure if he realized who I was. And I must say that he was smaller in person than I had thought. I guess he didn't guess that I have sparkle in person. Not to mention a fabulous tush! There is a reason why I do not post anything but conservative pictures on an online dating site (i.e. in a coat, or with friends, or in jeans and a baggy sweater). My feeling is that the guys who are willing to take the chance get the reward. Underpromise and overdeliver is the motto!

:) Maybe that's my mistake.

I seriously must be doing something weird these days, because some very cute guy who could not have been a DAY over 30 introduced himself to me in the elevator today. I'd never seen him before but he apparently knew exactly with whom I am working. VERY funny.

Anyhow. I can't get too greedy. I think I might already have one too-young man too many interested in me at this point. ;-)

Incidentally, I found a major mistake in the senior economist's work today. I think he's starting to hate me, which was not my intention. I didn't gloat, don't worry. My issue is that I ALWAYS ask too many questions, at least from other people's perspectives. I just can't stand it when something doesn't make sense to me, so I keep on trying to reconcile what I'm told with what I believe. Sometimes questions arise, unfortunately. One of my former colleagues a few years back nicknamed me, disparagingly, "forty questions." Anyhow. There you go. I'm not a man hater. I think they're starting to think that, though. I seem to be on a rampage. I found a mistake in the work of one of the senior chiefs in the whole branch the other day, too. He seemed happy with me though, and was nice about it, which he should have been, since they were about to laminate copies of the document in question as a quick reference for each of the minitaurs :) in this lovernment. Oh well.

I think I'm going to go and rampage in my kitchen, perhaps get my toaster to produce some nice crispy bread for me or something. Mmm...maybe a tuna melt. That's it!

8:11 p.m. - 2008-01-14

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