enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Sofa nonsense. Very boring entry, in spite of my efforts to write and then delete

I'm practising a new diarying trick: write long and boringly; delete and start over.

You know, shockingly, I've spent this morning trying to decide whether to buy the sofa.

I need a sofa, ergo I should buy the sofa.

But the thing is that I am tenaciously determined and committed once I make a decision. And I've decided to spend little money on stuff this year. I'm not going to buy any clothes. I will definitely adhere to this. I will mostly make my lunches and buy only local produce. I will do this. I'm good at these kinds of commitments.

Actually, this reminds me of a conversation that I had with the poet scientist's girlfriend the other day when I ran into her at the supermarket. She has signed up for a similar cycling class to mine, only hers is on Monday nights. And when I ran into her she said that she had skipped her last two classes because she'd felt a bit tired after work.

I would never skip even one of my classes unless I were ill!

She said something to the effect of "It's easy when it's a 16 week training program."

That's so unfathomable to me. Once I make a decision to do something it's because I really want to do something, so I'll always do it. My coach used to always say that I was a very coachable athlete, the best trainer he'd ever seen. I never understood that. I always thought: "What? Everyone else trains hard."

So I suppose I've found one way in which being someone unyielding and tough on oneself can be an advantage.

Where the serious, crazy problem arises for me is in making decisions. I almost never make decisions. It's such a slow process. And now we understand why: when I make a decision I am punishingly committed to fulfilling its promise. :) Perhaps this also explains, quite reasonably, why getting married would be a problem for me. (What do you mean you don't want to adhere to the letter of your pledge? ;))

Incidentally, that new profile has yielded no hits. NO hits at all! I think I've scared off the Canadian lumberdudes with the poetry talk. Sigh. I COMPLETELY give up. :) Incidentally, a cute little boy in my cycling class seems to be interested in me. I've hit a new record low. As near as I can tell he is approximately 19. I am NOT going to date a guy half my age, cute or not.

I think that's it.

I'm going to give up on sofa thinking today, although the sale ends today. If I'm going to buy it online I need to do it soon.

Oh the pain of having to make a decision.

:(

2:32 p.m. - 2008-01-06

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