enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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public television good for your health?

WARNING: Self-indulgent, excessive entry. Not feeling like editing. Read at own peril.

Oh the headache. Up late last night. Very foolish. And very disappointed that I'm not liking the way that that sweater that I have been making is turning out. The construction is sufficiently weird that it looks sloppy to me. I don't like it.

Perhaps it's not turning out well because I was sewing the cuffs on crookedly as I watched a horrifying biography of the misery that dogged the lives of the Bronte sisters. :) OH my goodness I had forgotten.

This, too, after watching a documentary - quite hilarious, really - about the "lovables" - seemingly lovable people who yet are single at various advanced ages. Mostly women, of course. In some ways quite educational as even though these people weren't creepy or unattractive, you could see clearly that they were...talking themselves out of relationships. They were not only picky but they were convinced that it would not happen for them. The really interesting question involves whether they really wanted it to happen, which is half of the problem. On some level I think that that's my bugaboo.

Thank goodness for public television. My complicity in my situation is now completely understood. ;-)

So the other thing that I discovered last night - and which was how I began watching public television in the first place, whilst knitting - was that the Amanda R00t version of P3rsuasion is not actually my favourite. That's the one that I own. I'd never before seen the other recent one, with who knows whom in it, but how could I resist a version of P3rsuasion in which Anne does a Run Lol@ Run sort of jog through Bath for ten minutes in order to find Capt@in W3ntworth and give her approval of the proposal? (Aside: Found this BEAUTIFUL critique by a Janeite online: "What on earth did the script writers think they were doing having Anne rushing around Bath in pursuit of Captain W3ntworth at the end and then brazenly telling him she accepted his proposal?!? Wrong, all wrong from the point of view of the storyline, characters and period of time the novel was set. No wonder he took so long to kiss her - he was probably repenting his decision to marry such a shameless hussy!" Laughing hysterically... ) HA!

I've always had a soft spot for the book Persuasion above all of the others of Jane Austen. I mean, Emma also gets a nod. P&P is divine and wonderful, but it's really in P3rsuasion that you most truly get the sense that love is not mostly lust in disguise. Emma has the same tinge but there's always been something about the 37 year-old Mr. Kn!ghtley marrying the 20 year-old Emm@ that smacks of...typical male antics. And what the heck was so wrong with this noble and handsome Mr. K. that he would have avoided marrying and producing offspring until such an advanced age for 1796?

But then again if you were expected to live a relatively short life fraught with the expectation of meeting a rather dreadful viral or bacterial end in early middle age, then I suppose that lust is as good as anything.

I was going to say something to the effect of "Well there you go. Educated by public television yet again!" But really I think I've just educated myself into realizing that I've thought way too much about love in the J@ne Aust3n world. I've also realized that yes, I truly am a card carrying neurotic weirdo. Just like the unlovable lovables. :(

Oh! Oh! The other piece that I watched on public television last night was a fascinating documentary of the making of a portrait of the house following the peace deal of the late 1990s in Northern Ireland. When painting each politician individually the artist would naturally have conversations about the placement of other politicians in the picture. Given the fear and hatred of each for others, the conversations were littered with very interesting and shall we say tart observations. Never let it be said that those people do not have a way with words. Very interesting and, you know, poignant.

Well in spite of my headache I should attempt a proper day.

11:47 a.m. - 2007-12-31

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