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enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Pensive

I went to an important meeting today. I am so going to grow balls at this job - there is so much testosterone clogging my airways!

Really. Not joking there.

And there was one other woman at the meeting (at least for a while)! :) Ha!

I was thinking during the meeting - and here's where I should have become a phychologist or sociologist - that I should be writing down (at least for my future novel! ;-)) all of the observations that I was making about the man behaviour as everyone was jockeying for billions.

I mean, billions! Me loves the numbers, especially the ones that involve us arguing with fiscal policy projections! Here's where I get regrounded to why I like being an economist. ;0

Anyhow.

The men were all mirroring each other by leaning back in their chairs with their arms up and stretched back, chests wide, as if -figuratively - about to do a Tarz@n move. Occasionally -though they alternated- they would sneak peaks at their BBies. Seriously, how dumb is that at the end of the day in a 1 hour meeting? (I HATE PORTABLE ELECTRONIC DEVICES.)

Rant briefly over.

Only one guy made jokes. I like jokes that involve billions of dollars. I do wish that more people would make jokes there. THey just don't seem to like it.

This brings me to my chief. The guy is so brilliant. And the best part is that he is precise in not only numbers but with words as well. What a beautiful, glorious combination. He's the boy wonder. I wish I could tell him so -and I don't mean that in any flirty way but in a respectful way - but I'm not sure that he'd take it well.

On the other hand, my attempts at humour are falling INCREDIBLY flat with him, most of the time. I think he thinks I'm mocking his nerdiness. He had assigned me a measure to analyse late in the day that was so dull and so dry and he cheerily said, "It was the most interesting one I could think of!" To which I responded: "Gee, ___ that shows a surprising lack of imagination."

My smile and a wink seems to work less well here. I try though. I have become very robotic and businesslike at work. I suppose that that is OK. I can keep my little stupid humour inside of myself and know that I have both the smarts and the funnies. No worries! :)

Notice that I am no longer questioning my smarts. I've decided that it's all unproductive. I am imperfect, true. But I am otherwise strong and special, like every other person!

Yes I am.

I ate a whole heaping bunch of chocolate.

I have a problem. My stomach problems of a couple of months ago have returned and -GASP - the only dietary thing that I can really point to that seems likely to explain this is...the cheese.

OH PLEASE NO!

Not the cheese.

I'm going to cut it out and see if the pain/discomfort goes away though.

I think that's it. I'm trying to be ungrumpy. In general nothing exciting is happening and nothing terrible has yet happened. I have not yet ticked off any higher ups very seriously, I believe.

There is one perfectly horrible woman a couple of doors down from me who continually snubs me in spite of my friendly smiles and hellos. She has the most perfect, beautifully shiny and styled Farr@h F@wcett hair. I almost want to say, "Hey, is all of the flipping and blowdrying getting to your basic manners?"

But I won't. I will go on my merry way. And when she passes me at the door or in the bathroom and behaves like I am a piece of the furniture...I will make like a chair.

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6:50 p.m. - 2007-12-04

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