enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Saturday planning of activities. I will, I will, I will get a life!

I'm going to stop complaining!

Because there is no point.

I'm simply going to enjoy my life, and laugh off men.

Men are stupid.

D. just called me to ask me if he could take me out for a spin in his new jeep.

Men really are so silly: He thinks he can get me interested in him (I've already told him "no" three times at least this week) with his car.

UGH.

Cars. Hair. Six-packs. Do men not understand that these do not substitite for available/single. smart. sensitive. funny?

That's it for my rant.

I'm remarkably happy, even though the red demon has not yet arrived. I'm really at peace in so many ways. I look forward to each new day with nothing but optimism.

The movie last night was bad. Well, boring, anyhow. That's OK. I enjoyed the bike ride slipping and sliding in the snow with the -10 winds whipping my face through the silent streets.

No worries.

I woke up very late today. This part of my week has to change. I can't be stressing and burning myself out so much that each week I spend Saturday in bed. I must reallocate my energy. This I can do. It's a constructive project!

I'm going to find something to do. A comic's course or something. An editing course. Which means I need to get showered and out to the coffee shop to pick up a copy of the arts newspaper. I'm sure that there's stuff online but I can't seem to filter it appropriately. As we all know the problem with the Internet is also its strength: lack of vetting, filtering, editing. :)

Referring to my own diary here.

I try so sincerely to keep this short. But the words just flow out of my eager fingers.

While eating carrots.

I've been eating bags and bags of carrots since I started getting the Friday organic farm deliveries.

Yum.

I still like cheese better though. I've continued to think about that cheese tray since Thursday night. It was FANTASTIC.

Actually, yesterday, I initiated a whole conversation at the Stats course about cheese. There were women there -including my old admin and some of the staff there - and they were all in agreement that cheese is essential to life.

They were all but one, incidentally, single women. It was the single women who were most attached to their camembert...

Hmmm....

I could not give up cheese trays or good beer.

I wish I had somewhere to go tonight. All of the plans were for last night. I'd love to have a seisun to drop in on (and someone to seek one with).

I'd take almost anything. This means, I think, that I should take myself somewhere, on my own. I've already decided that tomorrow evening I will go to a poetry reading by myself. What do I have to lose?

Nothing! Correct. OK, I will clean my hair and put on some nice clothes and take my book out for a stroll and a coffee. I feel as though there is something else that I am meant to do. Hopefully my mind will twig onto what that was, at some point today.

I'll leave you with another attempt at a dating site profile, only this one comes across as a little bit more pretentious (which I don't like at all; that is not me).

Humour is the super(heroine) power of the retrosexual.

Oh good grief I'm beginning to be recognized for my changing profiles! Which is OK. In the minimum I am amusing myself. And a few others who write quoting previous profile lines. Eek.

Perhaps I should give up on dating and take a course in comedy... :)

Speaking of comics, I recently heard a female comic label herself a retrosexual. I thought it a GREAT word for this modern dating universe - representing a late-30s spinster who hadn't had sex in 20 years (not really!) and who likes to do it to 80s music (maybe :)).

I'm actually shy and reserved, believe it or not. Over the years I've learned to mask it. Mostly I'm bright and dignified but with a girlish charm. I'm attracted to the same - men of sense, curiosity, kindness and class who are yet able to cut loose, jump into the fray, tell a good joke.

I'm a non-nerdy nerd. The secret to youth I've found is to remain open to possibility and completely tolerant to differences. I like both older and younger people, and they like me. :)

My friends and colleagues insist that I will end up with a younger man. I'm inclined to think that he will not be far from me in age. I'm definitely not of the cougarland type, and in any event cannot do big hair, big d�collet�, or animal print.

I prefer men without children. I do not yet have any of my own.

I like myself; I've enjoyed my life. I ran away from a "good" post-university job and explored the world. I quit another job to become a national-level marathon runner. I studied at four universities.

I've always understood that youth is to be spent. And now that I'm settled in Ottawa and building a traditional career my attitudes remain unchanged (towards *both* youth and 80s music ;-)). Like most people I'm a mosaic - colourful, bumpy, missing tiles.

This is already getting too wordy. But I'm full of words, at least in writing ! I can't help myself. Few things that I could tell you about me are more true.

May the best r(m)etrosexual win!

1:24 p.m. - 2007-12-01

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