enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

banish triviality

So today is an interesting day. It's nearly noon and I'm sitting at my computer in a tank top and slip, with the sun streaming in through the skylight in my kitchen...

I'm on the first day of paid holiday that I've ever before taken in my entire life.

Yes, you heard me correctly! I've changed jobs so many times and otherwise have always been so committed to my work--or fearful of losing it, one or the other--that I've never before indulged.

So today is the day. And I only felt able to ask my new boss for one day.

But I will take a week or two later this fall.

I'm learning, slowly.

Learning not to feel so responsible; learning not to feel so guilty.

And I took a lovely snap of myself sitting here with my still-red hair that is slowly growing and that is askew from sleep. I'm without makeup, looking a bit weary, wrinkles visible. I was going to post it but my university account has finally been disabled so I do not have a host.

Doh!

No matter.

The point of it is that sitting here in the bright sun with an unfortunate headache that has been growing all weekend (either allergies or some sort of a bug, I'm afraid), I realize that all I care about is striving towards self-acceptance.

When I got up this morning I cleaned the kitchen work space and then set to work on making a pretty omelette--fresh brown eggs, handfuls of basil, fistfulls of fresh mushrooms, thick milk.

And dark chocolate with crunchy roasted almonds; good, strong coffee.

My fridge is filled with organic and local food that I picked carefully this weekend. I'm determined to live only in the best possible way.

Because I can.

I'm so so so so lucky.

And free.

Just thought I'd say that. Unfortunately given my headache I slept in and so was not at the coffee shop sitting in the patio sun at the time at which I would normally be riding my bike to work and looking longingly at those seats on the coffee shop patio as I pass by. :) :(

I'd best jump into the shower then and make my way out there.

Tonight: Shakespeare in the park.

I should at least have taken TWO days of vacation. :)

11:43 a.m. - 2007-07-30

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell