enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Sigh.

I need to write something just to obliterate what I wrote earlier.

This weekend was the worst weekend of my life. My mental health has gone downhill. I think I might have had a wee nervous breakdown or something, because the whole girlfriend revelation thing pushed me over the top. I felt so ugly when I looked in the mirror that I didn't want to leave my apartment, have anyone see me.

And I didn't pick up the phone much. On the whole I would characterize the weekend as one of paralysis.

But I've been constuctive in the last three hours-- went out for groceries and videos, went for a run, planned for the workday tomorrow. And I spent some time on the web researching drawing courses, the upcoming theatre festivals, a language course or two, and the outdoors club that I am going to meet up with on Wednesday.

I'll be OK. I have to be OK. I keep on telling myself that hoping that it will be true.

I'm going to leave it at that. I have more to say but I'll save it for another day. Having had 2.5 hours of sleep last night and something similar the night before, I'm a raving lunatic. Literally and figuratively. :)

10:38 p.m. - 2007-06-17

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