enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary
"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh
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More narcissistic meandering. Many apologies.
OK. Well I've discovered one benefit to having hair that looks like your high school pal coloured and attempted to highlight it in the high school bathroom:
People think you are extremely young!
Yesterday, a girl at the Biotherm counter nearly fell off her chair and needed to see my driver's license to believe that I am approaching 40. (I couldn't convince her with my high school-era knowledge of blue mascara!) She called over a gay male and asked him to guess my age...and he guessed the same as his own--24!
That's it! I'm turning 24 in two weeks! I've decided. The plan is now to roll back one's age by 12 years at a time.
Of course I'll run out of 12s quite quickly.
It's like when I ran my first serious marathon and ran an hour faster than I had in my previous marathon, bringing my ranking to sixth in the country. My new coach, then holding a pace book, threw the book in the air and said, "Just drop another hour in your next race and we'll be done with this whole sport then!"
Sadly, it didn't work that way. :(
So I want to scream each time I look at my hair. Why do elevators have to have mirrors in them?!?!?
Enough. NO more talk of my appearance. I apologize for both the obsession and the indulgence.
I told the kids at the cosmetics place that the key is to be open to young friends, to not take yourself seriously at all, and to laugh a great deal (really a corollary to the second).
When I observe people who seem young it is these 2.5 things that are common themes. I have plenty of wrinkles, which I happily pointed out to them. They just didn't notice them because I distracted them with other attributes! AHA! I'm practising self-acceptance. (Or is it self-aggrandizement...Lordy, I hardly need practise at this!)
I mean, having young friends is not necessary. But being open to younger people as people who have things to teach one is really important. I get a great deal of pleasure from it.
And that's not simply because my new
Ah, life.
Not sure that the new relationship is going to go anywhere. I actually canceled today's date in favour of doing work. I want more effort from him, though I am not prepared to broach the subject yet. He seems to want to spend lots of time with me, and is very affectionate, but seems to have stopped asking quesitons about me, my work, my life...frustrating.
No big deal. I have more important things with which to concern myself. For example, I must DO MY TAXES.
Avoidance. Avoidance. Avoidance.
I must also work today. Honestly. Depressingly. And I must run/train so that I don't have a heart attack in my first workout with the new coach.
No rest for the wicked.
So it turns out that we can improve the plasticity of our brains by engaging in complex training/activity. I must therefore get a piano and attempt to learn Arabic!
I wish I believed in the sincerity of my intentions there. My French practise lessons with my sleazy landlord begin next week though, and I suppose that absorbing his high cultural influences whilst dodging his best seduction efforts can constitute rigorous brain work?!?
Why oh why do our breasts have to sag as we age?
That is one thing that really, really sucks unbelievably. I've lost weight in my breasts lately and this is the result, at least in appearance. I'm eating chocolate to put the weight back on. No joke. Cheese is next. I lost weight in the last few weeks because I felt so overwhelmed and stressed. No more! Stress is banished!
I'm sorry--that was another detour into narcissistic indulgence. I seem particularly predilected to this lately. :)
OH I can't wait until my hair grows and I have pretty, shiny hair again! :(
OK. I'm going to make breakfast and coffee and dance around my apartment for a little bit and then settle down to work.
Life is about to change. I have a feeling about it. I'm going to start drawing again once I'm settled in this job. And I started volunteer literacy tutoring yesterday and it was a breath of fresh air. I suppose that I have at least the heart of a librarian. :)
|11:28 a.m. - 2007-04-29
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Come al solito - 2011-04-16 unfettered spending - 2011-04-15 How does it go? - 2011-04-14 Whirlwind. - 2011-04-13 bleak that flips over to daffodil - 2011-04-08 |