enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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ho hum

So to sum up my current life: ho hum.

I suppose I really mean my day, my week.

I'm almost done with my first paper and have started into the data work for the second. (If you're interested in child poverty in Canada, call me.) Call me a geek but I feel powerful when I am running my little statistical programs and finding out all sorts of interesting things about 60,000 people here, 30 million there. It's invigorating. I even like coding--I get secret thrills from writing clever little programs. When I see S@S spinning through the motions I feel like a genius. Nevermind that it is really other coders and a whole lot of computing power that are working their miracles. :)

Hmm... I still haven't decided as to what to do about my running, but I'm feeling increasingly calm and have been methodical about investigating possible clubs to join. I won't do anything rash, plan any extreme races. I will be running for my government department in two weeks, however, against the government department housed in the neighbouring few towers. Silly and peculiar a thing it is to put bureacrats in a race, but why not?

I'm lame. That's all I can think of to write. I'm weary tonight. I need to read the news and have a cup of tea and start my book. Landscape and M3mory is next but I had forgotten that I promised myself I would first read A History of G-d. One day at a time.

Otherwise, rather than dating I think I'm going to start volunteering this weekend. I need to find a spot. I was thinking of the food bank but their big project at this moment involves handing out paper bags at supermarkets. I'm certifiably horrible at anything involving solicitation, so I'm not sure that that will work. I think I'd probably do better serving food at a shelter or visiting old people, the latter of which is my usual choice. I don't know anything, other than that it will feel good to have a solid purpose again in my spare time. I'm sick of thinking about myself all the time. (See, I really should become a parent. ;))

I need to select a sweater to knit from here . (I can't see why this link is not working! www.kimhargr3aves.co.uk.) I love her fall collection in particular. It's already incredibly cold and I hate wearing a suit jacket in the office except when in meetings.

Like I said, ho hum is my life. I think that should even be the title of this entry.

You know, sometimes I think about becoming a hand-knitwear designer. I have good taste and I could imagine myself being a good stylist as well. There is way too muchd dowdy stuff in the handknits world, or stuff that is stylish but not executed well, or stuff that is plain tacky (read: kn!tty.com, in my opinion, in spite of the fact that those people are burgeoning designers). I think I could do high end. But the idea of going to textiles school does not appeal to me (not necessary, true). And the idea of having a yarn shop bores me silly. No, any venture I take on must have the potential to do well, or merely be a sideline. Obviously, fashion is risky unless you are 1) good; 2) fully committed.

A part-time or hobby business would be something to consider. I could definitely make good money as a running/fitness coach--I know how much those guys ask--but the catches are that I am 1) never good at providing people with personal services and asking to be paid what I am really worth--I always give away my time; 2) impatient at least inside of myself with people who lack motivation. I mean, some people who come to a trainer have plenty of motivation and are a delight to coach; but if one moves into the fitness sphere so many of the people are not. I just don't think I could deal with such people very well. (That's the horrid side of my personality coming through.) I realized today that one of the big obstacles to my dating life, too, is that I find it difficult to respect people--beyond the basic respect for life that I accord to everyone, of course-- who aren't seriously driven in some way. I fear I tend to categorize people into two groups: lazy or not. Hmm...not nice.

6:57 p.m. - 2006-10-12

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fifidellabon
hungryghost
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