enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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one day of freedom remaining.

ACK. I encountered the rudely treated formal date from my past again tonight. All roads lead to Ottawa?

This time I was with my parents, and he was with a group of males at a pub table. Yikes. Same averted gaze, however.

The situation feels a little bit like that passage from By Grand C3ntral Station I Sat Down and Wept, in which Elizab3th Smart effuses about the inevitability of the wild fornication that will take place with the married poet once he emerges amongst the feeble disembarkers of the bus that he has taken to California.

In other words, a confrontation--or at least an encounter-- seems inevitable, I mean. Not fornication. :)Although I'll admit that my former date has grown into his grandfather's looks. And he was always a lovely and classy guy and I am sure still is such a person. I can tell simply by his body posture with friends. I seriously doubt, however, that I would ever be able to pursuade him that I, too, am a classy person. In fact I believe that attempting to convince him of this would be entirely unclassy of me, so I will not attempt it.

Gee! Wow! I have grown up. Somewhat. I hope.

Today was a busy day of heavy lifting and furniture assembly. I love my aparment. It is a dear apartment. I wish that I weren't so deathly afraid of my new job.

Grey and pink cubicles frighten me. I also fear that my public, workplace manners have atrophied. I'm likely to blunder.

I simply must go back to school and work towards a career in academic history. I just feel so wrong. So terribly wrong. Like I'm being buried alive and I don't have a shovel.

11:28 p.m. - 2006-09-05

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