enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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My first gloomy sigh in the big O

I'll admit that this morning I awoke feeling marginally depressed. The weather in Ottawa has certainly not greeted me. Rain and cool temperatures have been the order of the day for at least four of them in a row. It's supposed to be muggy and hot until October, dammit!

If it were to actually rain, rather than mist, I would likely feel better about the situation. But alas!

I'm angry with myself for leaving the house to meet the crown attorney yesterday, after he was forceful on the phone. He didn't deserve the effort. I've learned a lesson; I'd rather not speak of or think of him again.

My parents arrive tonight with a vanload of actual furniture. I am pleased with this as I am definitely missing the presence of a armchair in which to sit. A dresser or two would also be nice. I'm looking forward to seeing how the few solid antique (very simple) pieces that I possess will look in here. My freaky brown pastoral England china plates look lovely on the kitchen shelves, juxtaposed with the white walls and the warm, pine cabinetry.

A moment of panic hit me in bed this morning. My job is not secure until December or January. With the general weakness in the housing market(and the American dog dragging the Canadian tail down in its tailspin), there has been discussion of the impact that the conservative government's tapering off of federal public service hiring will have in further impairing that market. The only important point in this for me now--apart, mercinarily, from my possible interest in buying low in the housing market in a couple of years (contingent on interest rates, of course)--is that I'm now consciously worried that Stephen Harper will further curse my existence by precluding my department from hiring me permanently in December.

I know, I know; it's not worth worrying about now. One does worry, however. Jobs come and jobs go, though, and it may well be a good thing for me to move into another area of work after a stint as a statistician (which I know I WON'T enjoy very much).

I must cease speaking of work in this journal. It is not terribly interesting. I'll eventually find my way. And I'll reapply to the Foreign Service.

I'm tired. My parents will tire me out further, primarily with my mother worrying about parking. It began when she was here...last week. My mother can always find something to worry about. My awareness of this should be instructive to me in correcting my own way of operating in the world. I will try to work with this knowledge.

Well, I'd better have a shower, make some nice coffee, and attempt to enjoy fully the final two days before work begins. Life is not so terrible. I think that C. is going to pop up from Montreal for the night, too, to assist with the furniture moving. He's kind and thoughtful like that.

9:23 a.m. - 2006-09-05

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