enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hot hot hot here in humidex central

So I'm in huge, huge trouble. The computer science guy is the most perfect man I've ever encountered. I'm not kidding-- every single thing he has said to me has been perfect. He's by turns sweet, funny, reticent, forthright. He's always intelligent. If it makes any sense at all to say this, we have the kind of rapport in writing that one only rarely finds in conversation. You know how it is--sometimes you meet someone and you can just talk for hours without one pause. That's what this is like.

But we've had to pause. There's nothing more strange than feeling like you're conversing with the person who is the exact, more-perfect, male version of *you* to make you desperately afraid of meeting them in person and being a disappointment to them. In a way it is kind of an irrational way of thinking; I think we've progressed to the point at which even if we don't have super-great chemistry in person we'll give it a little bit of a try. He amuses me. I amuse him. It works. I really, really want to know this person. Whatever happens, I think that we can be friends.

So life turns on a dime. Two weeks ago I would have laughed myself off my chair if anyone had said to me that I could be enamoured with a guy whom I met on a dating site . I mean, I was *never* supposed to ever go on such a site. And the funniest bit is that the friend for whom I went on in the first place is still assembling her profile to be put up later this week. I sent her the link to the guy who I think is perfect for her and she agrees that they should meet.

Perhaps my true calling is 'matchmaker'. :)

I know, I know, it's perfectly rational and it's perfectly irrational all at once. But I just have a feeling. I really have a feeling.

Otherwise, I had a not-so-good feeling about the history professor and so I got rid of him after the online 'stalking' bit. He kept on emailing me after that to rekindle things but I just didn't feel anything and I was starting to find him too negative and, frankly, too desperate and insecure. I wanted him to hold back but he didn't seem to be capable of this. Did he need to email me every morning, noon and night to tell me what he was drinking or working on?

Anyhow, that's done. I'm really not interested in meeting him anymore.

Right now, I must return to writing a budget, which is OK. It's dull as hell but at least it will tear my mind away from my inbox, which is distressingly empty by agreement.

9:39 p.m. - 2006-07-03

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

other diaries:

stepfordtart
ohell
awittykitty
annanotbob
manfromvenus
smartypants
fifidellabon
hungryghost
hissandtell