enfinblue's Bluey (credit to Fifi for the nickname!) Diaryland Diary

"I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart." -Vinc3nt V@n Gogh

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Sunset on a pleasant Wednesday

A good day. I awoke to discover that I hadn't been fooling myself but indeed that my hip had improved last night. I put on a happy skirt and went to a successful meeting. After the meeting I bought a nice coffee and took a pleasant walk in a sunny park. (In truth I felt like skipping but somehow managed to restrain myself.) And then this afternoon...

I sat in a room with fewer than twenty people whilst the former Dean of Science of this University who is also a great virologist talked to this intimate group about the A!DS vaccine that he has recently patented and is negotiating to have produced for clinical trials--for phase 1 of which he has already secured many, many million dollars' worth of funding.

I mean, that was not the only cool part of the afternoon. He was completely humble and told funny stories about hang-gliding. Furthermore, things have been set up such that if the vaccine proves useful in humans (both for immunization purposes and therapeutically), he has negotiated to have it provided to Africans for free.

I mean, it's a dream. I don't understand much of the science. But if it actually works...

So today was good and interesting. I also surfed around when I arrived home this afternoon and spent several hours reading several new blogs. One of the things I enjoy most about reading online blogs or diaries is the network effects that are revealed in the process: each blog leads to another, to another, to another...

And that's about it for today. I've been non-stop busy for the last week and with the uncertainty associated with the hip over the weekend I have hardly had a moment to sit down, breathe deeply, and savour...you know...life. I've made a pact with myself to never be disappointed. I've come to the possibly unstable conclusion that disappiontment is a dangerous feeling that tends to sweep one into a corner of expectation of future disappointment. This in turn is something that other people can sniff a mile away, which then makes the expectation a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As I write this I am convinced that it makes some sense.

I'm getting up early tomorrow morning to meet a group of women for breakfast. In fact, I've joined a breakfast club of sorts for this semester. I knew that it was going on but hadn't been able to make the weekly get-together last semester. Something about this idea tickles me. I don't necessarily expect that I will remain lifelong friends with most of these women but the occasional company of a diverse group of new women (all in my program, I might add) can't be a detrimental addition to my life. A couple of them were, in fact, going roller skating at an old 80s-style rink tonight, and invited me along. With much regret I had to decline because of the hip tendon rehabilitation thing. Next time for sure, however, I will be there.

How I loved roller skating in the 80s. I even had a pair of those strap-on metal thingies that I used push myself along on, even on pretty bumpy tarmac. When I think of roller skating I think of those tight pentimento jeans with zippers that we used to wear, and holding hands with the occasional boy as we funked around the rink to early 80s tunes and our parents' disco music. The only disappointing memory that I have of roller skating is of falling down on the road and ripping a pair of new pants that my dad had recently bought for me. My mother put a daisy patch on the hole but they never seemed the same again.

My, I've led an exciting life. Not.

I'm going to go off now and think about the wonder of a possible AIDS vaccine.

9:58 p.m. - 2006-05-24

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